Getting Invovled. Too Involved.

So, I hear that there’s this really awesome-active and super-involved parents’ group in our area.

I’m on the mailing list.

I have the membership card.

I get the newsletters.

I have yet to attend an event….

The most I HAVE done is trade e-mails and phone calls with one of the organizers, who is just so friendly and nice, by the way.

As soon as she learned that I just moved here (and didn’t know anyone in the neighborhood), she  immediately invited me to coffee.

I was so excited! This could possibly be my first BRITISH friend. Maybe she could explain my oven to me… hmmm.

We met up last week while her daughter was in nursery school. Since I also haven’t bothered to find one for Avery, I had him in tow.

“No worries”, she chirped over e-mail. “I’m looking forward to meeting your son, too.”

I told you. So nice.

We talked for over two hours while Avery amused himself with his cars and trucks–ramming them into his sugary pastry bribe (If you sit still, you can have this ENTIRE massive, gooey, raisin-y sweetness all to yourself)… and occasionally tossing them across the table.

He was mostly well-behaved, except for drinking his milk and spitting it out INTO my coffee…

I know, Eww!

She seemed to take everything in stride. Having a toddler of her own, she was totally cool with it… I think, and we just continued with our conversation.

I learned that her husband also works in the film industry… just like Mike. In fact, he even works in computer graphics… just like Mike.

“Wait, what company did you say he works for… Whoa! No way!”… yep, just like Mike.

As soon as I got home, I called Mike and asked if he knew her husband. He did… Quite well, in fact.


I flipped out. I just had coffee with Mike’s boss’ wife and had no freakin’ clue!

I probably should have pieced it together based to some of the things she’d mentioned, but I wasn’t thinking about that. I was just so eager for her to like me, which I actually couldn’t get a read on.

I’ve since replayed the entire event in my head over and over and over again, each time sinking deeper and deeper into my personal shame cycle.

Avery was licking the cafe window*… in front of Mike’s boss’ wife!

Avery totally had a poopy diaper and I didn’t even notice… but what if Mike’s boss’s wife did?

At one point, I think I may have accidentally spit while I was talking to… Oh my  dear goodness! Mike’s boss’ wife!

What’s worse is I had suggested that me meet for dinner this weekend and I haven’t heard back from her. Now, chances are she’s busy. Understandable. It did take a few weeks for us to find a time to meet for coffee…

Or she could HATE ME.

I have always liked Mike’s co-workers (and their spouses) and I’m very supportive of  Mike’s career. I mean. OBVIOUSLY.  I will move halfway around the globe for him to pursue his passion and work with great people, but I maintain a very strict boundary between Mike’s professional life and me (i.e. his personal life) because…

1) I think it’s important that Mike have a realm unto himself and…

2) to avoid situations like this: “So, I hear that Pokey Von PokeyBee** is a total jerk… Wait, what did you say your name was again? Oh, he must mean the other Pokey Von PokeyBee. he he he.”

I don’t crash their Friday “pub night”, I don’t get into the details of the office politics, and I certainly don’t hang out with “the wives/partners”.

I think possibly spitting on Mike’s boss’ wife, regardless of how unintentional, crosses that line.

*Umm, I have no idea what Avery’s deal is with licking windows… in public, no less. It’s  his new “thing” and it’s GROSS.  I stop him every time, but to no avail. I just hope he gets over it soon.

** Made-up name and there are no jerks at Mike’s current company. I know, it’s amazing. An entire company of non-jerks. No wonder Mike likes working there so much and hopes to CONTINUE working there long after the movie wraps up this winter 😀 (hint, hint)



Filed under Family, Friendships, Misconceptions and Mishaps, Undiplomatic Behavior

6 responses to “Getting Invovled. Too Involved.

  1. It was probably a good thing you didn’t know who she was,This way you were more relaxed and not trying so hard to impress. Don’t worry so much, she was probably nervous too meeting someone new.

  2. It really is a small world isn’t it! I am sure that you were the same fabulous Grace that you always are! Who couldn’t love you?!

  3. Paul Hayes

    Heh, I have to say that this post made me smile. All this “She’s the boss’s wife!” stuff sounds a bit like a plot of an episode of a 1970s sitcom or something! 🙂

    I am sure she thinks you’re marvellous. *Did* she end up explaining how your oven works? 😉

  4. Most important question…did you tell her about your blog?

    My husband’s boss moved into our area and I see his wife all the time at school.
    When they first moved up we extended a dinner invitation to the “amazing sushi restaurant.” His reply,

    “Sounds like a great place, I’ll have to check it out sometime…” Huh?

    At this point I’ve totally gotten over who the “misses” is and treat her just as shittily as I treat all the other moms. Kidding, but I feel no compulsion to kiss her fat ass.

  5. Wow. What are the odds of that happening. All of London and you find Mike’s bosses wife.

    I bet you will hear from her. She sounds lovely.

    Don’t worry about the things your son did. tonight my son “cleaned” a spill on the table by licking it up. I wanted to die.

  6. This is so funny, it sounds like it’s from a novel! I’m sure when she found out she probably thought it was funny too. If she calls or emails you again, maybe you can laugh over it.

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